Reflecting on our “No”

Parents, Do you know the reasons behind your “No”?

I’m a firm believer in conscience parenting. Does that mean I’m perfect? No. It just means I strive to be aware of my parenting and how it effects both my child and myself, emotionally and mentally.

My main goal is to raise well rounded children who feel heard, seen, valued, and loved. To raise children who don’t feel like an after-thought or like an inconvenience. To be present and engaged in their day to day lives and to foster that love and appreciation of a strong and healthy family dynamic.

However, I’m human. I’m flawed and sometimes I chose convenience over patience. I find myself saying “no” to things that are virtually harmless.

For example: Olivia almost always asks to play in the rain. Usually I say no, we live in Texas and “light rain” isn’t always a thing here. It’s almost always accompanied by tornadoes, lighting, and thunder. But not only that, I hate getting wet. Soggy clothes, wet shoes, and sticky socks. Eek I don’t like it.

Today, we had a nice little rain going on. Once again, that question of “can we please play in the rain” came up.

I was hesitant. We were at family’s house, I brought no extra clothes, no extra socks, no extra shoes (rookie move, mom).I knew we’d more than likely end up going home soaking wet.

And in that moment I realized the reason for my “No” was stupid. Yeah, I’m just going to say it. IT WAS DUMB.

So I said Yes!

After filming her initial reaction we literally ran around the back yard in the pouring rain and I cannot tell you the last time I had that much fun.

So the next time you feel a “no” coming on, reflect and consider a yes. Don’t miss out on the special moments and the memories that you’ll look back and cherish. ❤️

I never imagined my life this way

I never imagined I’d be here.

I never imagined I’d leave my career.

I never imagined I’d be a mom, much less a stay at home mom.

I was one of the youngest in my field who held the position I held.

I worked endlessly, scarified everything to get to where I was.

I had never dreamed I’d make the amount of money I did.

And even now, 3 years later, people ask me with so much pity, “why”?

Why did you ‘throw that all away’?

Why did you “give it up”?

This question kind of rubs me the wrong way. For one, leaving didn’t come easy and there were a lot of factors that went into play.

I didn’t THROW anything away “just” to be a mom.

Being a mom IS NOT a demotion!

The reality is, I got PROMOTED!

I didn’t know I needed this.

I didn’t realize how much of me was missing until I became a mom.

I lost myself and found my self all at the same time.

I’ll take the messes, the early mornings, and the sleepless nights over anything.

Being a mom has been the HARDEST job, but the most REWARDING one.

Being a mom is the biggest blessing, and no amount of money or success can replace that.

And the truth is, not matter what plans we have in life, Gods plans are ALWAYS bigger and better.

So if you feel the urge to judge a mom based on if she works or not, focus that energy instead on giving her support. Because neither choice is an easy choice .❤️

#allmomsareworkingmoms

Tips For Turning Your Day Around As A Mom Battling Mental Illness.

I know I’m not the only Mom/Person who deals with Depression and/or Anxiety.

The way my mental illness presents itself is in lack of motivation and extreme fatigue. As a parent you can’t really submit to those feelings, you have someone who depends on you. And sometimes it can motivate you to get yourself in gear, and other times it can make you feel worse and get into what i call: Survival Mode.

Last night was rough. First I had extreme insomnia.

Then right as I was falling asleep I rolled over to a giant wet spot on my bed. (Co-sleep they said, it will be fun they said 🙃)

So there I was at 3 am cleaning up my sweet sleeping toddler all while frantically looking for towels in the dark.

I ended up on the couch, which is to small for even my short 5’2 self to stretch out on until 5 am when my spouse woke up. 😬

I went and laid in bed in his spot and managed to get 2 whole hours of sleep. Unfortunately I’m not like Buddy the Elf and need a whole night sleep to function.

Here’s the thing…I HATE having bad days. So I adapt and make it work, because my toddler needs a happy mom. And because mental illness is unpredictable I’ve implemented a system that works for us.

Here are some things that help turn our day around:

Tip 1.

Set your coffee pot/ Tea area the night before. I’m definitely a “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee” type of person so having this programed to be on when I wake up is ESSENTIAL.

TIP 2.

Get out of your PJs!!!! I set out clothes the night before for the both of us, even if we’re not going anywhere! Yep, you read that right. When we look good, we feel good.

TIP 3

If you’re still not feeling it set your toddler up with an activity and maybe even their device. We use an old iPhone for days like this. Turn on some relaxing essential oils and have a “mommy time out”. Focus on relaxing breathing, stretching, or simply sit in peace to clear your mind.

TIP 4.

Work on some bible journaling and listen to your favorite worship music. I don’t know about you but this is my favorite one. Spending some quality time with Jesus definitely help brighten my spirits.

I hope you’ve found some encouragement with this post today! Do you have any tips that you feel might be helpful, too? Share them in the comments!

Physical and Mental Health Struggles after Pregnancy

Let’s talk about Body and Mental-health struggles after pregnancy real quick.

I’m going to be raw here, I HATED taking pictures for a very long time.

That pregnancy glow was gone.

The beautiful thick pregnancy hair turned into postpartum hair loss.( I’m talking clumps of hair just falling out!)

My body was healing from trauma that I experienced during labor and delivery, and it took longer than I imagined.

I overall felt like I looked like a completely different person. I felt like I looked like I had put on 500+lbs. I remember looking at photos like this one and CRYING because I felt so UGLY.

As I scrolled through my camera roll deleting memes that were taking up space, I stumbled across pictures that I remember in the moment feeling like I hated myself and how I looked. No matter how much my partner told me I looked good, my mind wouldn’t allow myself to believe it.

Looking at them now I absolutely love them, and I regret not taking more. And I honestly can’t believe how badly I thought about myself. It really makes me sad that I felt that way. Proof that those hormones really mess with you.

The journey of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood takes quite the toll on your mental and physical health. Something that not a lot of people talk about and truly, I feel like it’s because there aren’t enough right words to describe it.

But if I could tell any new moms some key pieces of advice it would be:

1. Take the pictures, all of them. Even when you don’t feel like you look glamours. (And to the partners, take pictures of her! This is so crucial!)

2. Be gentle with yourself, communicate and coordinate with your partner designated self care days so that you allow yourself to reset. Trust me, you need it. And don’t feel guilty about it either! (You can’t pour from an empty cup)

3. LOVE yourself, let go of social expectations that put so much pressure on women to “bounce back” after pregnancy. Remember to eat good foods, drink lots of water, and do things each day that make you feel GOOD!

4. And lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for help. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not superwomen (ok maybe your are, you gave birth for crying out loud lol ) but asking for help does not make you a bad mom!

Life Update

Hello Blog, my old friend.

It’s been a while, I know. For those of you who follow me on Instagram or YouTube, you know I’m quite the Flake. Sorry, I’m committed to doing better in 2020.

Anyway, HI! I cannot believe I found my old blog, I’m excited to put it to use again. I thought I’d share a life update mostly for me to look back on and see how much I’ve grown, so much has happened since this blog. I’ve narrowed it down to the top 4 life updates…

1) Olivia was Born. My birth story is a crazy one, I have a postpartum video on my YouTube that shares a little bit about my experience. She’s now 2.5 and does Dance. She’s grown to be such a sweet, sassy, and smart little girl. She’s going to be something big one day, I can feel it.

2) Johnny and I got Engaged! Wedding planning is not in the works, sorry fam. We’d rather put that towards Olivia’s college fund. #NoDebtGoals. But we do plan on making it official soon. We’ve been together for 5 years now. I started this blog when I was 21, I’m now 25 going on 26 and he’s 27 going on 28!! WOAH.

3) I’m no longer a Stay at Home Mom! WHAT!! Yep, a year ago we decided to give it a try. The idea of having Olivia in someone else’s care was never a plan for us, but being the work-natured person that I am, I felt like we could give it a shot. Also, funds were getting tight lets be real lol. So far so good, it hasn’t been easy by any means but I have an awesome work family and Olivia enjoys going to her sitter’s. Its totally a new environment but I have loved the experience and learning new things everyday!

4) I found Jesus. He has changed my life SO much for the better and I’m so grateful. ❤️

I’ve left a lot out, I could probably write a novel with all that’s happened. I’m truly happy where I’m at in life now and I’m excited to see what God has planned for us in store. Thank you for tuning in. Until next time.

XOXO, Gracie