Why we’ve cut down on screen time in our home.

Screen Detox:

Yes, you heard that right. Good-bye screens!

Ok, not completely but we have definitely gone down to a VERY limited use of screens in our home and may eventually even cut them out completely. And the best part? No one’s gone crazy!

Technology use has become second nature in our society today. We have smart TVs that give us access to an array of shows and movies. We have smart phones which for us, are our main use for information. It’s where we keep up with the weather, world news, and local news. A large part of my job in social media can be done on my phone as well.

I feel like many of us have become so desensitized to the amount of time we actually use our devices, and once I analyzed the chaos that it was causing in my home, it was a no brainer to begin the process of eliminating screens.

The chaos:

From the moment I opened my eyes, I was reaching for my phone without even giving it a second thought. I’d then make my way into the living room to have my quiet time before my toddler woke up, as soon as that was finished I noticed I’d reach right back to my phone again. Whether it was checking emails, reading blog posts, writing blog posts of my own or responding to comments, I noticed I was getting sucked back into my phone!

Then, my daughter would wake up. The first thing I’d do was turn on the TV to “distract” her so I could cook breakfast. Once breakfast was made we’d eat together, and she’d continue to watch her show while I’d mindlessly scroll on my phone.

Before I knew it, it was lunch time. No chores had been done, no one was really put together, and we’d done nothing productive all morning! I’d feel tired and groggy, and even grouchy. My toddler was throwing tantrums, acting out, being super clingy, and even a bit grouchy herself.

I was feeling overwhelmed, touched out, and anxious. Once I realized the cause of our issues was a lack of movement, lack of sensory stimulation, a lack of daily rhythm, and the over use of screens in our home I set out to take back control of the household.

How it all started:

You may be wondering….Uhm, how in the world did you end up like that? Well, I’ll tell you my sweet friends. For me, it started when I began taking my social media work seriously. My platforms quickly started growing and I started to feel immense pressure to “keep up”. Anytime I found a pocket of time, I was reaching for my phone to work. Not only that, our phones are a HUGE distraction and even temptation. My intentions were to work, but I’d often find myself mindlessly scrolling through my feed.

Then we move on to my toddlers love for her shows. It really took off when we started supporting a relative with virtual learning. Homeschool for us came to a pause, and one of the main ways I could get my toddler to give the kids doing virtual learning their space to complete their work was turning on the TV. That went on for about 6 weeks, and we unintentionally created a habit that we brought back home with us.

My conviction:

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The more I walk on my journey with my faith, the more I’m aware of if what I’m doing is honoring or pleasing to God. And I can tell you, the lack of true family presence and order in my home was not pleasing to Him. For the record, we had mostly a happy home even with the screen issue. However our mental health was really being effected by technology and screens and I was not having it anymore!

I started asking myself questions. Was I truly training my child up in the way she should go? Was what I was doing encouraging my child to seek the Lord? Was I actively teaching her about Christ and how to be more Christ like? Were we conforming to the ways of world, doing and saying things like “well, there’s no escaping technology so might as well go with it”. Was I sticking to my values I set out to have on my platforms which were to share the Word, and to be an encouragement to other women and moms?

How we did it & what I’ve learned:

Now, I plan on writing an entire blog post with all of the intricate details on how we’re going about this process ; and also sharing some fun activities you can do together while using items you may already have at home. I can tell you, that it’s OK for your child to be bored. If you’re cooking, cleaning, or doing some sort of chore what’s worked best for us is either A) have them get involved or B) set them up with an activity.

During this process I’ve found taking a “redirecting” approach rather than an “authoritarian”approach was a lot more effective. I feel like we get much less pushback that way, and it doesn’t seem like anyone is “missing out” on the use of screens”

Another thing to consider is that you’ll have to work on your flexibility. Messes will be made, chores may not get done the way you’d like, and you may find yourself on the floor playing with play dough, paints, or toys. It can sound stressful, but perspective is key my friends. My priority lies in raising my child, not in how much laundry I can do that day. And to be quite honest, our home is much more in order this way. Surprising, I know!

Really pressing in on being involved with those little things and those sweet moments has truly been therapeutic. There’s just something about unplugging and really being present. At first, I thought I’d be drowning with stress and chores not being done. However, I was pleasantly surprised at the overall peace and calming that has come with this process.

The conclusion:

We still use screens and technology. They can definitely be a great resource when used correctly or when not over used. We usually use them when we’re doing car rider pickup for a relative of ours, and when I need to shower. Other than that, we pretty much are not on our devices.

The process of eliminating screens has created so much peace in our home. Our mornings feel slow and meaningful. We’ve developed an appreciation and gratitude for even the smallest of things. Our family unit feels close-nit, and our relationship with Christ is growing. My toddlers behavior has improved IMMENSELY! Her imagination exploded and her creativity is blooming! We began homeschooling again and she is just thriving and so excited to read stories, color, and do crafts. Overall we’ve felt the call to lead a more simple and humble life, getting back to the basics, and this has been a huge step in that direction.

I hope you’ve found some encouragement within this post today! If you’re deciding to start the process of eliminating screens in your home, share in the comments what it is that’s inspired you! Until next time. ✨

Reflecting on our “No”

Parents, Do you know the reasons behind your “No”?

I’m a firm believer in conscience parenting. Does that mean I’m perfect? No. It just means I strive to be aware of my parenting and how it effects both my child and myself, emotionally and mentally.

My main goal is to raise well rounded children who feel heard, seen, valued, and loved. To raise children who don’t feel like an after-thought or like an inconvenience. To be present and engaged in their day to day lives and to foster that love and appreciation of a strong and healthy family dynamic.

However, I’m human. I’m flawed and sometimes I chose convenience over patience. I find myself saying “no” to things that are virtually harmless.

For example: Olivia almost always asks to play in the rain. Usually I say no, we live in Texas and “light rain” isn’t always a thing here. It’s almost always accompanied by tornadoes, lighting, and thunder. But not only that, I hate getting wet. Soggy clothes, wet shoes, and sticky socks. Eek I don’t like it.

Today, we had a nice little rain going on. Once again, that question of “can we please play in the rain” came up.

I was hesitant. We were at family’s house, I brought no extra clothes, no extra socks, no extra shoes (rookie move, mom).I knew we’d more than likely end up going home soaking wet.

And in that moment I realized the reason for my “No” was stupid. Yeah, I’m just going to say it. IT WAS DUMB.

So I said Yes!

After filming her initial reaction we literally ran around the back yard in the pouring rain and I cannot tell you the last time I had that much fun.

So the next time you feel a “no” coming on, reflect and consider a yes. Don’t miss out on the special moments and the memories that you’ll look back and cherish. ❤️

I never imagined my life this way

I never imagined I’d be here.

I never imagined I’d leave my career.

I never imagined I’d be a mom, much less a stay at home mom.

I was one of the youngest in my field who held the position I held.

I worked endlessly, scarified everything to get to where I was.

I had never dreamed I’d make the amount of money I did.

And even now, 3 years later, people ask me with so much pity, “why”?

Why did you ‘throw that all away’?

Why did you “give it up”?

This question kind of rubs me the wrong way. For one, leaving didn’t come easy and there were a lot of factors that went into play.

I didn’t THROW anything away “just” to be a mom.

Being a mom IS NOT a demotion!

The reality is, I got PROMOTED!

I didn’t know I needed this.

I didn’t realize how much of me was missing until I became a mom.

I lost myself and found my self all at the same time.

I’ll take the messes, the early mornings, and the sleepless nights over anything.

Being a mom has been the HARDEST job, but the most REWARDING one.

Being a mom is the biggest blessing, and no amount of money or success can replace that.

And the truth is, not matter what plans we have in life, Gods plans are ALWAYS bigger and better.

So if you feel the urge to judge a mom based on if she works or not, focus that energy instead on giving her support. Because neither choice is an easy choice .❤️

#allmomsareworkingmoms

15 must have items every breastfeeding mom needs.

FAVORITE BREASTFEEDING ESSENTIALS:

In honor of National Breastfeeding week I wanted to share with you some of my favorite essentials that I feel will be helpful for your breastfeeding journey.

Disclaimer: I am not a lactation consultant, doctor, or specialist. Please consult with your doctor before trying any of the recommended items to see if they’re right for you. Links provided in this post may be affiliate links, which mean I may earn a small commission when you purchase through them, at no extra cost to you! Thank you.

Breastfeeding is a FULL TIME JOB, scratch that, its TWO full time jobs. Our journey was not easy in the slightest ; with a lot of hard work, support, and encouragement from some amazing breastfeeding mama’s we made it to 2 years of breastfeeding. Crazy right? I never thought I’d make it to 6 months.

TOP 15 BREASTFEEDING MUST-HAVES :

1) Nipple Cream!
Those poor nipples will be dry, chapped, sore, and maybe even bleeding. BUT DO NOT FRET, it all calms down after you and baby get the hang of things. I went through so many tubes of nipple cream during our breastfeeding journey, I narrowed it down to my TOP 2. In no particular order, Lansinoh and Earth Mama.

2) Breast therapy packs!
These wonderful therapy packs also help care for your nips. Let me tell you, the first few weeks you want to make sure your nips and breasts are being well taken care of. You can use these packs cold or warm. They help reduce soreness, engorgement, clogged ducts, mastitis, and help promote let down.

3) Nipple Shields!
I lost our shields before I could use them, but SO many mamas recommended these when I first started breastfeeding. They come in different sizes so make sure you measure for the right fit for you. Or, you can just get a few and try them out. It’s not uncommon for your breast and nips to fluctuate in size during your breastfeeding journey.

4)Haakaa!
What the heck is a Haakaa? This little bad boy is made directly from the hands of the breastfeeding angels. Simply attach it to your breast while the baby is nursing from the other, and this little contraption will catch your let down(leaks)! I seriously wish I had this sooner when I discovered it. So much liquid gold wasted at the beginning, but when our haakaa came in it was a GAME CHANGER. Plus, I didn’t have to take the pump out during every breastfeeding session.

5) Re-Usable Nursing Pads!
Now, you can always get disposable ones but I like saving money. So, I bought a huge pack of re-usable nursing pads. They’re super soft and comfortable, they don’t stick to your nips like most disposable ones, and you can throw them right in to your baby’s laundry on wash day.

6) LACTATION COOKIES!
Ok, so many people think lactation cookies are a sham…I’ll admit I even did too, at first. Until I found these. They’re SO good, I honestly don’t even like oatmeal cookies but I ate like 5 in one sitting and let me warn you. DO NOT DO THAT. I could have fed an army of babies. I pumped so much milk that day.

7) BREASTFEEDING BRAS!
Initially I wasn’t going to invest in nursing bras. Why are undergarments so expensive? (or maybe I’m just cheap!) After a day or two into our breastfeeding journey I QUICKLY took to amazon and purchased some super comfy nursing bras. I thought I could get away with using sports bras but they were simply too tight, I really underestimated how much breasts grow when breastfeeding. Nursing bras are typically made of super soft stretchy material with clasps to help with easy access.

8) A PUMP!
At first I really didn’t think I would even use a pump. I was SO determined to exclusively breastfeed. However, like everything in life, that really didn’t go as planned. Days after my baby was born I developed sepsis and was re-hospitalized ; and unfortunately I was not able to nurse my baby for the first few weeks while in recovery. Having a pump is great for those days where you maybe want to give your girls a break, want to build your milk supply, or if you’re returning back to work. This was the pump I absolutely LOVED! Check with your insurance to see if they cover the cost of a breast pump. Don’t forget Breast milk Bags to go with your pump, and make sure you are replacing and cleaning the parts as directed by your pump manual.

9) BOTTLES!
If you read number 8, you’ll know why you need bottles! Bottles are great to have, even if its just a small pack. Our Lactation Consultant recommended using preemie nipples for breastfed babies, yes even if they’re not preemies. Preemie nipples closely mimic what it’s like for a typical breatsfeeding let down, ensuring that you don’t over feed your breastfed baby. These were the bottles our picky baby liked.

10)NURSING COVER!
I’m all for openly breastfeeding, if that is what YOU are comfortable with. Absolutely do not feel embarrassed or let anyone shame you for how you nurse your hungry baby. And truthfully after a few months your baby will start fighting even going under a nursing cover, or at least mine did. I opted for using a Muslin Blanket when she reached that age, they’re super light weight, breathable, and you can use them in multiple ways.

11) BREASTFEEDING PILLOW!
I suffered with HORRIBLE back and body pains after having Olivia. It made it so hard for me to hold her up when she was breastfeeding. I’ve also heard breastfeeding pillows are super helpful for mamas who are recovering from having a c-section. There are several nursing pillows on the market, but we loved the Boppy Pillow.

12) WATER BOTTLE!
Hello extreme thirst…I got extremely thirsty during the first few months of breastfeeding. Keeping a HUGE water bottle by the bed, nightstand, and coffee table was a MUST HAVE. I don’t know about you but i’m more prone to drinking water if its in a cute cup. Plus staying hydrated is essential for a successful breastfeeding journey! I loved this one, but really you can use anything!

13) SNACKS!
Along with the thirst, being ravenous seemed to hit when ever I was breastfeeding my baby. I bought some of my favorite snacks in bulk and portioned them out into little baggies or containers to have on hand for whenever hunger striked!

14) A BREASTFEEDING STATION!
What is a breastfeeding station? Basically I got a small basket that fit on the coffee table and beside table filled with water, snacks, some headphones, the current book I was reading, and my phone charger! Having a breastfeeding station was super helpful in those moments where my baby was cluster-feeding and I’d be glued to the bed or couch. My common nursing spots were on the couch and on my bed, which is why I chose those two locations. Feel free to use anywhere in your home to set up your nursing station.

15) SUPPORT!
I know moms, we feel like we can or have to do it all. But let me tell you, breastfeeding is no walk in the park. I made so many awesome friends in breastfeeding groups. Whether in person or online, I can guarantee there is a breastfeeding support group near you. Attending a physical group is super helpful, in my opinion. I was able to meet and connect with other moms. However, with the whole Covid situation going on, Online support may be a better fit for you. I found the online groups that leaned more towards “gentle” parenting were most helpful and way less judgemental than your average online “mommy group”, in my experience.

BONUS: If your hospital, midwife, or birthing center offers a breastfeeding class, TAKE IT! I promise you it is worth every penny!

And there you have it, My Top breastfeeding essentials for nursing moms! Have any recommendations? Share them down below!

Tips For Turning Your Day Around As A Mom Battling Mental Illness.

I know I’m not the only Mom/Person who deals with Depression and/or Anxiety.

The way my mental illness presents itself is in lack of motivation and extreme fatigue. As a parent you can’t really submit to those feelings, you have someone who depends on you. And sometimes it can motivate you to get yourself in gear, and other times it can make you feel worse and get into what i call: Survival Mode.

Last night was rough. First I had extreme insomnia.

Then right as I was falling asleep I rolled over to a giant wet spot on my bed. (Co-sleep they said, it will be fun they said 🙃)

So there I was at 3 am cleaning up my sweet sleeping toddler all while frantically looking for towels in the dark.

I ended up on the couch, which is to small for even my short 5’2 self to stretch out on until 5 am when my spouse woke up. 😬

I went and laid in bed in his spot and managed to get 2 whole hours of sleep. Unfortunately I’m not like Buddy the Elf and need a whole night sleep to function.

Here’s the thing…I HATE having bad days. So I adapt and make it work, because my toddler needs a happy mom. And because mental illness is unpredictable I’ve implemented a system that works for us.

Here are some things that help turn our day around:

Tip 1.

Set your coffee pot/ Tea area the night before. I’m definitely a “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee” type of person so having this programed to be on when I wake up is ESSENTIAL.

TIP 2.

Get out of your PJs!!!! I set out clothes the night before for the both of us, even if we’re not going anywhere! Yep, you read that right. When we look good, we feel good.

TIP 3

If you’re still not feeling it set your toddler up with an activity and maybe even their device. We use an old iPhone for days like this. Turn on some relaxing essential oils and have a “mommy time out”. Focus on relaxing breathing, stretching, or simply sit in peace to clear your mind.

TIP 4.

Work on some bible journaling and listen to your favorite worship music. I don’t know about you but this is my favorite one. Spending some quality time with Jesus definitely help brighten my spirits.

I hope you’ve found some encouragement with this post today! Do you have any tips that you feel might be helpful, too? Share them in the comments!

Physical and Mental Health Struggles after Pregnancy

Let’s talk about Body and Mental-health struggles after pregnancy real quick.

I’m going to be raw here, I HATED taking pictures for a very long time.

That pregnancy glow was gone.

The beautiful thick pregnancy hair turned into postpartum hair loss.( I’m talking clumps of hair just falling out!)

My body was healing from trauma that I experienced during labor and delivery, and it took longer than I imagined.

I overall felt like I looked like a completely different person. I felt like I looked like I had put on 500+lbs. I remember looking at photos like this one and CRYING because I felt so UGLY.

As I scrolled through my camera roll deleting memes that were taking up space, I stumbled across pictures that I remember in the moment feeling like I hated myself and how I looked. No matter how much my partner told me I looked good, my mind wouldn’t allow myself to believe it.

Looking at them now I absolutely love them, and I regret not taking more. And I honestly can’t believe how badly I thought about myself. It really makes me sad that I felt that way. Proof that those hormones really mess with you.

The journey of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood takes quite the toll on your mental and physical health. Something that not a lot of people talk about and truly, I feel like it’s because there aren’t enough right words to describe it.

But if I could tell any new moms some key pieces of advice it would be:

1. Take the pictures, all of them. Even when you don’t feel like you look glamours. (And to the partners, take pictures of her! This is so crucial!)

2. Be gentle with yourself, communicate and coordinate with your partner designated self care days so that you allow yourself to reset. Trust me, you need it. And don’t feel guilty about it either! (You can’t pour from an empty cup)

3. LOVE yourself, let go of social expectations that put so much pressure on women to “bounce back” after pregnancy. Remember to eat good foods, drink lots of water, and do things each day that make you feel GOOD!

4. And lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for help. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not superwomen (ok maybe your are, you gave birth for crying out loud lol ) but asking for help does not make you a bad mom!

How I Potty Trained My Stubborn Toddler

How I Potty Trained My Stubborn Toddler:

Today on the blog I’m sharing a few things that helped me while potty training my “stubborn” toddler.

I put stubborn in quotations because I realized during this process that my toddler in fact was not stubborn, she was hesitant and scared, which was a result of a HUGE lack of communication on my part. Her feelings were completely valid and justified.  (Keep reading, ill explain. it’ll all make sense.) Heck, I was scared!!! This was definitely new territory for me and a HUGE learning process for the both of us. 

We tried several different methods at several different ages, failing each time. I couldn’t understand WHY she was just not going to the potty! It was frustrating and I was losing motivation. I was starting to believe my toddler was going to be in diapers forever.

I read countless blogs, watched endless videos. All sharing similar stories of how they successfully helped their kids learn. 1. just take them to the bathroom 2. Have them sit down on the potty and 3. eventually they’ll get it. Easy, right? 

Now, I’m no expert or specialist. I’m simply a parent trying to help other flustered parents get to the realization and revelation that potty training doesn’t have to be scary or daunting. 

STEP 1. COMMUNICATE! 

Each of our attempts to potty train resulted in a terrified toddler. I realized one day it was because she had NO IDEA what the heck was going on. I did, but she did not.

The entire time I was the one setting the tone, I was the one keeping mental notes of when it was time to go sit down again. I was the one in control. 

Did I mention to her we were potty training? YES. Did I realize that my toddler had NO IDEA what a potty was, or what it even meant to use the potty. No. 

Once I realized my huge mistake, I felt so bad. This entire time i thought she just wasn’t comprehending. I really didn’t stop to think about the small details.

Heres the thing, Kids comprehend and are smarter than what we give them credit for. You just have to communicate in ways that they understand. 

Olivia very much loves to be independent, she likes to know whats going on. What is happening and why its happening.

I had to take a step back and kindly explain and repeat detail by detail, step by step the process of what the potty was, what happens when you use the potty, and how to use it. We talked about it casually for a couple of weeks, just to get the idea comfortable with her. 

During this time she was still in pull-ups and she’d soil in them. I took advantage of this time to show her what it meant when she went pee and when she went poo each time I would change her into a new pull up. 

STEP 2. Lower your expectations!

Do some toddlers potty train in a day? Yes! is there a possibility that yours won’t? Yes. And guess what, They’re BOTH ok!

Learning how to use the potty is A LOT of pressure on a small child. For the first years of their lives they’ve developed a comfortable routine of soiling and voiding in a diaper. They had no idea that one day it would come to an end. Which circles me back to step one, Communicate! Now remember, this doesn’t mean underestimate, it means reassurance,safety, guidance and talking through the process. 

STEP 3. Utilize your child’s interests.

Olivia LOVES music, all aspects of music. She love to sing, dance, listening to music. This girl will stop dead in her tracks to bust a move. I had the idea to have us listen to all of the song options for the alarm on my phone and had her pick her favorite one. I communicated with her that every time this song came on it meant we had to go sit on the potty. No pressure to use it, just go and say hi and have a seat. ( Her potty seat had Bubble Guppies characters and she loves saying hi to each one of them) This now gave the alarm control and she was less hesitant to go than when I was directing her. Every time that song came one I’d act so surprised and we’d excitedly race to sit on the potty.

STEP 4. The timer.

At first, before we picked the song and I realized my mistake, We were going and sitting on the potty every 10-15 minutes. Almost every thing I read about potty training stated to take them very often in the beginning and then slowly space it out. That did not work for us, AT ALL. It was way too overwhelming and I could see it was really stressing the both of us out. So instead we did it backwards, we went every 2-2.5 hours. Just to sit, no pressure to go. During this time would also be a good opportunity to utilize your child’s interest. The more relaxed they are, the more likely they’ll use the potty. We took a few minutes sitting on the seat to read books, blow bubbles, and sing songs. 

STEP 5. Undies. 

Once we were both comfortable and she felt ready, we tried going to the potty  for about the first week while still in pull ups. Once she had her first success we CELEBRATED, Till this day i still cheer her on when she goes. She really had to SEE the process in action to realize what it is that she had to do, Which is why i really do suggest going all out with your celebration. Clap, Dance, Jump up and Down. Don’t be afraid to make this fun and exciting, you might feel silly but I promise your kiddo will appreciate it.

Then, after a few days of her catching on, actually using the potty, and no longer feeling scared, we decided to use panties. I explained to her what we would be doing. Saying things like, “OK we have to say bye bye to diapers, we get to use panties now! HOW AWESOME!” I got her super excited about wearing panties, I surprised her with a pack of undies with her favorite characters on them. I also kindly let her know that she should not go pee or poo in them. Of course I knew accidents would happen and I had absolutely no intentions of punishing her or making her feel bad. I just wanted her to understand that it was not another form of a diaper that she could freely soil without making an attempt to at least use the potty first. 

STEP 6. Putting all of the steps together!

Its important to take as much time as you need during each step, and really customize things to your lifestyle and child. Every one is different. I’m not going to lie, It was HARD. By day 2 of her wearing undies I was in full blown tears, you just really have to be consistent and be your kiddos biggest support. Remember that this is as scary for them as it can be stressful to you. This is a RELATIONSHIP, it requires effort and communication from the both of you. And give yourself grace, be kind and gentle with not only your child but also yourself. Don’t give up, The reward is so so sweet! There’s nothing like seeing your child light up with the realization that they’ve overcome a fear and accomplished something huge. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Bonus: books!

This book was AMAZING! It was really easy for her to follow and understand. If you have little girls, I definitely suggest getting this book!

Disclaimer: blog contains affiliate links. When you purchase anything from these links, I have the opportunity to earn a very small commission, at no extra cost to you! Thank you!